Good day everyone!
Before I talk about Asperger's, I’d like to remind you that I stuttered from the age of 5 to 18. As it turned out there’s no such disease as stuttering, which is nothing more than a stupor of speech caused by incorrect focusing of a person’s attention - when a person thinks about something that is not what he wanted to say, but he still tries to express an idea that is Missyng or poorly built in his head (*Details in my video about stuttering, or on the website / channel of Roman Snezhko). What is also important in this story about stuttering is that a person can start speaking absolutely normally in a matter of seconds if he understands the true causes of speech stupors. Another important thing is that some doctors do not yet know these truths; and others simply refuse to believe that the cause of stuttering is so simple. And so many doctors continue to treat something that does not exist - I, as a person who has experienced the so-called stuttering, know this for a fact. The question is, where else can doctors be wrong in their conclusions?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
Regarding Asperger's, I once received a message from a guy who had this syndrome. When I looked at the symptoms of Asperger's, I saw that I, too, had similar symptoms at different points in my life, and they would all go away when I was focused on what was happening in the present moment around me, instead of living in my inner thoughts, fantasies, etc. [*1]
It is worth noting the fact that a person's attention can be concentrated only on the outside world, or on his inner world and nowhere else. And the person has complete control over this process. This understanding is very important, because when discussing any psychological problems, we can say with high precision what a person is focusing on at any moment of his life. With this knowledge, a person will be able to develop opposite habits in order to eliminate undesirable manifestations in his life.
For example, a person with aphantasia can train himself to fantasize - this is achievable if everything is in order with that person’s brain. Or a person with maladaptive daydreaming may develop the habit of being focused on what is happening in the present time around him.
"Erroneous skills and actions will be eliminated by definition"
The focus of attention in this graph is expressed as a point on a sinusoid. That point cannot be in several positions at the same time - at any time it can occupy only one place. Either at the bottom, or at the top, or at any point between the two extremes. For example, a person can be either shy, or confident, or somewhere in between at any point in his life; but he cannot be in all states at the same time - this is physically impossible. So, he can't be very shy and be very confident at the same time. But in general, a confident person can be a little shy in some situations, and a generally shy person can suddenly gain self-confidence under certain conditions.
Of all the signs of Asperger's Syndrome listed on Wikipedia, I don't see anything that can't be removed by self-education in acquiring the opposite social skills. This requires self-discipline.
Let's take a look at each point.
A difficulty in social interaction, as demonstrated by at least two of the following:
Severe impairments in the use of numerous nonverbal nuances of behavior, such as eye contact, facial expressions, body (posture), and gestures, to manage social interaction.
I remember how when I was about 14 years old, I had struggled to look into my father's eyes and I’d constantly turn my eyes away - being drunk at the time he noted that fact to me in plain text. There were other similar cases when I felt uneasy to have an eye contact with someone, but that example is the only one I remember.
Further, when I was trying to find a girlfriend in recent years, I can’t say that I had problems looking someone in the eye. And the reason is simple - I was almost not shy then. Remember that shyness is a sign that a person has focused his attention on his inner world. Confident people are focused on the outside world. I know all this from my own experience, having experienced the state of our consciousness in moments of shyness, and in moments of confidence.
A person should simply develop the habit of being focused on reality, and entering his inner world only when it is required by some situation in life. This will become automatic, and looking into the eyes of the interlocutor during a conversation will, by and large, become a logical consequence. I'm not saying "develop the habit of looking people in the eye" because in that case a person can start to pay more attention than necessary to where he is looking, and this is a sign that a person is in his inner world - a mistake that manifests itself in body language and in general appearance of a person. Usually, people do not look into the eyes when they need to build a thought - which is logical, because their focus of attention is directed to remembering and processing information, and only when the thought is formed do they look into the eyes of the interlocutor during the utterance of that thought.
You can watch videos of various interviews on the Internet; pay attention to where people are looking; answer the question of what they are focused on at one time or another - on the inner or outer world.
For example, Matthew Perry in his interview for Good Morning America (https://youtu.be/cWIa-hoYZjA) continuously and attentively looks into the eyes of the interviewer during the question and during his answer, when he already knows the answer; and he does not look into the eyes when he needs to collect his thoughts - to build a thought - after which he begins to speak and again looks into the eyes of the interlocutor. The same goes for his interviewer.
Failure to develop relationships with peers to a level consistent with general development.
This is a somewhat complex topic due to the fact that different people may have different spiritual knowledge, which will affect their life positions, hobbies and aspirations. In these cases, if a person is unable to develop relationships with peers for the reason that they are very different on the spiritual level, and so he is not interested in having conversations with them, then there is nothing wrong here. He just needs to find himself those friends who match him in terms of spirituality.
If a person and his peers are approximately on the same spiritual level, then he could try to understand the reason for his inability to develop relationships. He could find, for example, on Internet forums, people's advice regarding what topics they discuss and how to communicate. After that a person would not be hindered by anything other than himself in his learning how to talk, as well as gaining knowledge of the world and things that his peers are interested in, in order to “be on topic” and be able to maintain a conversation. In this example, we will assume that a person is interested in those topics, because he is on the same spiritual wavelength as his peers.
We see again that the individual is more than capable of teaching himself the social skills which are opposite to the aforementioned Asperger's sign — namely, the inability to develop relationships with peers. The person has full control over this skill; he just needs to learn and practice the lessons learned and, if necessary, learn from the mistakes he may make in the process.
It is worth noting that since we are talking about interaction with other people, the development of the ability to communicate may depend on how willing people are to communicate with a person who still has difficulties when talking with others.
Lack of spontaneous urge to share joy, interest, or achievement with other people (eg, not showing, bringing, or pointing out interesting items to other people).
Such symptoms occur when the focus of a person's attention is in his inner world. It is logical that at such a moment the data coming from the outside world through the five senses is muffled in the mind of that person - or he doesn’t notice it at all. How can a person have an interest and desire to talk about something that flies right past his attention?
Such a symptom is eliminated by simply training to be in the present moment and to pay attention to what exists and happens in the surrounding reality, instead of paying attention to the fantasies in one’s head, for example.
Also, it’s worth to analyze the surrounding things. Don’t just look like a robot at a pigeon, for example, but take a note of its appearance or behavior, etc. This will help with training to form thoughts.
This is also something that I know from my own experience.
Lack of social or emotional reciprocity.
Partially related to the previous answer about the focus of attention, as well as the answer about spiritual knowledge.
Regarding the second. A person may either not have any spiritual knowledge at all, because of which he will not care about the feelings of others, or vice versa, he could have already lived many lives in which he could learn a lot of things. This spiritual knowledge affects how a person sees the world and the events that happen in it.
For example, if someone is suffering, then the person can understand within himself that this is happening because that person made a mistake. And if a person does not participate in presidential elections, then he may simply understand the absurdity of the electoral system, which will not result in the leadership of an honest person who will always act in the interests of all people, and not in the interests of himself and the elites (* See "Thiaoouba: Golden Planet" and "Simple Truths of Life").
Restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped behaviors, interests, and activities, as demonstrated by at least one of the following:
All-consuming preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and limited sets of interests, abnormal either in intensity or concentration.
A person just needs to discipline himself to live more diversely. Set aside time for study, work, interests, and leisure. And when it's time to rest, he should direct his attention to what surrounds him instead of overwhelming his mind with the interests.
Obviously inflexible adherence to specific, non-functional daily habits and rituals.
The answer is the same as above. Plus, a person should learn to understand if he makes a mistake - namely, if he suffers in any way for his own actions - and if he does make a mistake, then he needs to learn to understand what is the right action, as a result of which neither he nor anyone else will have to suffer.
Stereotypic and repetitive movements (eg, clapping or twirling with a finger or palm, complex movements of the whole body).
This is again the topic of understanding that you are performing erroneous actions that harm you, followed by self-discipline in order to replace the old bad habit with a new one that will bring positive results.
Constant focus on parts of objects.
Essentially, it has already been answered before. A person should learn to see his mistake and understand why such an action is a mistake, after which he just needs to develop the habit of acting correctly.
It must be said that due to different life circumstances, different people may need different amount of time to acquire the right habits. But if a person is stubborn and refuses to learn, then his problems can migrate into his next lives.
For example, Roman Snezhko, the man who discovered the true essence of stuttering, spoke very sharply about some stutterers who refuse to understand the causes of their problem, do not wish to develop themselves, and simply continue to pay money to people who are trying to treat a non-existent disease.
(* I’ll note that at that time he published his discovery absolutely free of charge on his website.)
Similarly, the guy who wrote me refused to listen to my advice to try to acquire positive social skills - the opposite of those that are on the list of signs of Asperger's syndrome.
The fact is that you definitely have nothing to lose if you try to acquire social skills, and you will certainly gain some new knowledge from this process – but, of course, it is your choice how to live your life.
(*again - this is something I know from my life experience. I wrote about it in my free online book "Simple Truths of Life")
He decided that doctors and researchers should know the essence of this syndrome better, forgetting or not realizing, that they are the same people as everyone else. Plus, often those people never had these symptoms, in order to be able to see the real cause of Asperger's from firsthand experience. They are guided by data obtained from observations from the outside, and not from within.
And I don't say anything bad about all doctors. I'm just stating the fact that they are humans who can make mistakes too. This means that blindly following their opinions and conclusions is a mistake. You should always be able to think with your own head, and for this you need to acquire new knowledge - to learn.
This was the main point of my advice – to go outside, start learning to socialize and acquire new knowledge among society. The Internet and social networks can also help with the basics, but this is not direct communication. Of course, you can try to arrange audio or even video conferences.
In the end, let me remind you that life is simple in its basics. You should not assume that a simple solution to a problem is wrong, believing that in this case people would already know about the real causes of that problem. One should not over complicate simple things.
Thank you for watching!
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